Version 1.3(makes enough to alienate all your friends twice)
INGREDIENTS:
1/4 Oz. Dried habañero chiles. (This is the size package common in stores)
1/4 Oz. Dried habañero chiles. (This is the size package common in stores)
1/2 Tsp onion powder or the white section of one green onion.
3-4 Medium garlic cloves
1/4 Tsp sea salt
5 oz. Distilled water
1 Dozen strike anywhere kitchen matches.
1 #4 Grappling style fish hook.
1/2 Cup battery acid
1 Matchlite charcoal briquette.
1 G.E. Laundry iron.
1 1/2" X 4" Machine bolt.
DIRECTIONS:
Plug in the iron and turn it to the steam setting. Use a kitchen match to ignite the briquette, put the match out on the tip of your tongue. Remove the stems from the chilies and toss the chilies into a blender. Light the remaining kitchen matches on your teeth, putting them out as before. Add the garlic, onion, sea salt and water to the blender. Do your doggone best to swallow the fishhook. Set the Blender to frappé and fire that mother up. Gargle 1/2 cup battery acid but don't swallow any cause we don't want none of that macho crap here. Stop often to scrape the sides of the blender with a rubber spatula. Use the charcoal briquette to heat up the bolt to a cheerful cherry red then pick the red hot bolt up with your lips. You need to blend the ingredients in the blender for four or five minutes, until the chiles are completely liquefied. You can take this opportunity to see if the iron is ready by firmly pressing the flat of your tongue to it. Turn off the blender and pour the liquid into a small bottle. Extinguish the charcoal briquette by smothering it in your mouth. Turn off the iron. Refrigerate the habañero sauce between usage, and when you use this stuff, please try not to get any of it in your mouth!!
OK OK the REAL Directions:
Add the ingredients to a blender and blend on medium until smooth. Stop the blender occasionally and push down the chili sauce that has been splashed onto the side of the blender carafe with a spatula. This will probably take about 5 minutes. When fully blended, remove the carafe and hold it between your hands. Swirl the contents against the side of the container to remove all the bubbles. That's all there is to it!
Put this into one of those 5 ounce bottles of store bought pepper sauce such as Tapatio hot sauce. It has a plastic stoppered mouth with a small shaker hole that is a great way to apply this sauce to your food. Just pour the store bought swill down the drain and wash the bottle out. You can reuse the same bottle for years. You should have some room left in the bottle, top it off with more distilled water. If the sauce is too thick once chilled, add more distilled water when there is room. Once mixed, keep the bottle of sauce refrigerated between uses. Shake before using.
Double the recipe and put it into a 10 oz. bottle if you are insane like me.
I loved the presentation so much that even without getting the permission to re publish, I posted this recipe on my blog.Thanks Gary for your sense of humor and the recipe.
1 comment:
hahaha you can also add some 4rx to have mo9re flavor.
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